THE DUEL IN ADULTS.

HOW TO FACE THESE MOMENTS SO DIFFICULT?

 

The loss of a loved one is a vital event of the most painful and stressful that exists and requires a grieving process to rebuild our identity.

 

Everything we love, from people to things, together with all kinds of identifications, becomes extensions of ourselves. Although they belong to life, we feel it as our own and it ends up constituting us. It is only a mirage. There is nothing that belongs to us, beyond the responsibility of being its depositories for a while. Everything passes through us, but without possession. However, we believe the opposite. Everything with which we relate, we confuse it as ours and then we suffer painfully when we lose it.

 

Face the duel:

• How to help yourself

– Participate in funerary rituals and subsequent decision making.

– Recognize the loss, letting the pain feel inside of oneself.

– Dedicates a space and time for the expression of emotions and pain.

– Do not run away from the support of your family and friends.

– Do not self-medicate and do not look for relief in alcohol or drug consumption.

– Take care of yourself and return to your sleeping and eating guidelines as soon as possible.

– If you see that after a prudential time, you still feel trapped in suffering, seek the help of a psychologist.

 

• How to help others

– Listen to the «suffering», without judging, speaking, or saying what he has or not to say or do.

– Make the person feel understood and comfortable expressing their anguish. A real hug and let him cry everything he needs, will help him a lot.

– If after a while, you see that it is not recovering, that it speaks little, that it is closed in on itself, that everything costs a lot, do not hesitate to seek the help of a psychologist.

 

Especially in the face of the pain of loss, we can not fall into the trap of trying to eliminate, to cover up those symptoms, because effective coping is not one that mitigates the symptomatology, but one that is effective in promoting the experience of grief as development process